Another Woman
by Moggie
Summary: [COMPLETE][GSR] Grissom's got a secret and Sara walks straight into it. Things occur and she can't handle it anymore.
1. Chapter 1

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Another Woman

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Author: Moggie

Pairing: G/S

Rating: PG-13

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Category: Angst/Angst

Summary: [GSR] It was safer, but was it the right thing to do?

Spoilers: Blood Lust -onwards

Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

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Fic Notes: We've seen fanfics about Sara and another man, but what about Grissom and another woman? Hmmm, good question huh?

Author's Notes: These new ideas of mine are a number of my friends fault. I want to place blame, but thank at the same time: Stumpycat and Cherie for helping me through my rants about anything and nothing other the past months. Taletha for sending me season 4 episodes that haven't aired in the UK yet and for giving me the motivation to write a batch of stories to thank her. And Xanti for keeping me sane. This is all good blame and it's a huge thank you too. Thanks for being online when I need you guys. I'm going to start writing more fics soon with you all in mind.

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[Now, due to POPULAR demand, I give you - 'Another Woman']

Chapter 1

"I-I-I'm sorry," She swallowed back the lump in her throat and forced the tears into submission. "I didn't mean to interrupt anything." She turned and started walking down the steps. Her mind cursed her for even being here. She had no idea why she was standing on his doorstep in the first place, other than she was concerned, but now she wished she was miles away from this place.

The door opened in a hurry and she could hear footsteps following her in a rush and soon a voice joined the panic.

"Sara!" Grissom shouted as he rushed after her. "Sara-"

Of all the things she thought a cold was, was now flooding her mind with why she once played hooky in school to stay home with her new boyfriend. She had told her teacher she had a cold and she believed the lie.

She pushed away every emotion, with great effort, from her face before turning and forcing a tight lipped smile.

"Sara, please-it's not what it looks like." He hurriedly and hesitantly tried to explain.

Why was he trying to explain anyway? It wasn't like he was doing anything wrong. He was moving on, or had moved on a long time ago. No wonder he wasn't showing an interest in her anymore. He'd gotten himself a life outside work and he seemed happy. He had colour and his face looked so young. He'd obviously been working out.

With that thought, Sara's heart sank. Working out was what he had been doing when he was supposed to be sick.

She finally gave in and shrugged, taking short steps backwards towards her car. "Hey, Grissom. I-I just came to see if you were ok, you know?" She paused and swallowed hard. "I-I was told you were off sick... I thought you might-" She sighed sadly, knowing it was no use babbling, and turned away.

He watched her drive off into the darkness of the night. Dropping his shoulders, he headed back towards his house. As he got closer to the door, he noticed a small paper cup with a top on it, perched on the windowsill. He retrieved the cartoon and immediately realised what it was.

"Soup, that's nice." Anna commented as she leaned back against the open door.

Grissom looked up from the cup to catch Anna's eyes before his lingered on what she was wearing. She was wrapped in the bed sheet that was previous covering his bed, but she was using it as a wrap to keep out the chill. This was how she answered the door, half naked, hair ruffled and pinked from a day and night of lovemaking.

"It's cold out here Ann; you should put on something warmer before you catch your death." He suggested, moving through the door.

Anna smiled. "I'll be in the shower."

He nodded and kissed her briefly as he closed the door to shut out the cool night air. His eyes watched as she retreated to the bathroom.

She stuck her head around the bathroom door and looked at him with a teasing smile. "You coming?"

Grissom looked up and nodded, offering her a small smile in return before placing the chicken soup into the fridge.

Chicken? Sara brought him chicken, that's meat, something she can't stand to touch.

****

Sara sat in her car outside her apartment building with tears streaming down her face. She had been confused by his behaviour, but now she understood with pure clarity why he had been so happy at work lately.

He had come in one night and immediately started joking with Nick and Warrick, teasing Catherine and even laughing and lightening up with the rest of the staff.

It was confusing at first, but then he started working with her again. He showed an interest in their once strong relationship. He'd even gone to the effort of buying her breakfast a few times to make up for his behaviour and this made Sara think he was actually giving 'them' a try.

But she couldn't have been more wrong.

All the time they had spent together, all the time they had worked together in the past 3 months… It was all false hope. She really thought he was going to make a move. Now she knew why he wasn't taking that next step and why he hadn't in a long time. He was seeing someone and that someone made him happy.

Sara should have noticed, but his attention was blinding her to what was actually happening. Now she remembered that he was leaving shift on time and getting into work on time. The early starts and the late stays were almost non-existent anymore and Sara was the first to notice this, but she never, never thought it was another woman. She couldn't allow herself to think he could be with someone else after all they had been through.

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TBC


	2. Chapter 2

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Chapter 2

Working along side the man she loved was more difficult than it had been when he was avoiding her. Now she had inside information about what was going on with her boss and she wanted that information erased from her memory.

"Sara, hey girl." Warrick's voice called out as he waved a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Sara."

"Hmm?" She looked up and focused on the man sat across from her.

They had been sitting in the offices for the last three hours going over paperwork. It was the weekend and some of them had a few days off to enjoy some downtime.

"You daydreaming again?" He teased, giving her a knowing smile.

She shook her head slowly and got back to her paperwork. "Sorry War."

His smile faded slightly, but it returned full force when an idea hit him. He leaned forward and asked in a hushed voice. "Something wrong with the hubby?"

Sara looked up confused and stared blankly at him. "Huh?"

Warrick wasn't demurred and grin. "You know who I'm talking about."

She furrowed her brows and shrugged innocently. "I don't, sorry."

"You know, you and," He looked towards the open door briefly. "A certain, bugman."

Sara's eyebrows shot up, but suddenly it all dawned on her and she sighed sadly. "No. You've got it wrong Warrick."

"Really?" He asked teasingly and tossed a pencil at her.

She picked up the pencil and tossed it back at him. "Really. I know everyone's heard the rumours and I know, now, what you were all thinking."

"So?" He shrugged questioningly.

Sara sighed and leaned on her left elbow as she began filling in another form and signing her name. She let her cheek lean against her fist and decided to tell him the truth. "Her name is Anna Owens. She's an entomologist. I met her at the seminar I met Griss at."

Warrick's brows were furrowed as he listened carefully. "Grissom's seeing this Anna Owens?"

Sara nodded and continued talking as she wrote. "You all thought it was me, but it was her and it has always been her." Her voice was lower than a whisper as she snatched a brief glance at the surprised look across the table. She shrugged. "You didn't think he'd be seeing someone?"

"I did." Warrick answered quickly, causing Sara to look at him from her curled in position. He continued with a softer and gentler voice that showed his concern and an apology. "We all thought it was you." He watched her as he spoke. "You two were getting on so well lately. You were joking and teasing, then you were back to your flirting… It was a natural conclusion that he must be seeing you."

She smiled sadly and shook her head. "No, he's seeing someone else. You might as well tell everyone before they mention something to him."

****

"Sidle, my office, Now!"

Everyone stared at her as their boss stormed out of the room.

Sara shrugged and quickly packed up her case file she was reviewing. She made it to the boss' office just in time to see Grissom pacing back and forth with what could be noted as steam coming from his ears.

"Shut the door!"

She closed the door quietly and stood with her back to it as she hung her head and waited for what could be one hell of a reprimand for something she can't remember doing.

"How dare you, how dare you!" He shouted, turned to pin her with an angry glare, one that she had never seen before.

"Griss-" She quietly called his name, but he didn't let her continue.

"I have been trying, trying, damn hard to keep my personal life apart from my work, Sara and in one night, one night, you blow it away in a matter of one rumour." He spat out.

"I didn-" She tried again, but failed.

He slammed his fist down on his desk. "You, are the only person who knew. I thought I could trust you."

"You can. Grissom-" She paused in case he interrupted again, but when he didn't, she ventured on quickly, almost stringing her words together. "I was trying to correct a misunderstanding. I didn't tell anyone anything they didn't already know. You have to believe me." She stressed, feeling cornered and horribly guilty, though she was sure she didn't do anything wrong.

If she couldn't have him and he didn't want her, she wasn't going to let the rumours continue. She would be a laughing stock of the whole lab. Why couldn't he see that? She was only trying to help him, not invade his life, not anymore, she knew her place after last night.

Grissom sighed angrily and sat down heavily in his chair. "What do you mean, misunderstanding?"

Sara stood where she had been since closing the door and lowered her head to stare at her hands. "I heard a rumour about you, and, I thought you wouldn't like it, so I put things right."

"You told the gossips that I was seeing someone? Seeing Anna. How is that putting things right, exactly?" He pressed, still not calm enough to relax and think things through clearly.

"They thought it was me." She confessed almost inaudibly.

Stricken, he looked up. "You?"

Seeing his panicked expression, she nodded. "They thought you were seeing me." Before the silence was broken by another outburst, she continued quickly. "I know, it's stupid, and it's ridiculous, and I knew you wouldn't want a rumour like that circulating. I thought I was helping. I'm sorry."

Grissom slowly folded in on himself as he rubbed his forehead to fight off the pending headache. He sighed sadly and let out a long deep breath.

Sara reached for the door handle when she realised that he wasn't going to say anything further. "I'll get back to work."

"Sara." He called softly, still hiding behind his hand. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at you. I apologise for taking out my frustrations on you. It won't happen again."

She didn't look at him. "It's ok." She slipped out the door and headed for the women's bathroom. The pressure behind her eyes was too much for her to handle and she needed to find some place she could recover without being noticed.

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TBC


	3. Chapter 3

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Chapter 3

Warrick moved into the room and slipped onto a stool beside her. "Hey."

She looked up and smiled. "Hey War."

He returned her friendly smile and nudged her shoulder with his own. "I'm sorry about getting you into trouble, Sara."

She shrugged and turned back to her paperwork. "That's ok."

"It's not." He chuckled. Watching her silently for a second, he nudged her again. "Was he really angry?"

Thinking about this, she decided to tell the truth. "Very."

"Oh man," He groaned and buried his face into his hands. "I'm so sorry Sar." He mumbled.

"Hey, no big deal." She shrugged it off. "I've not seen him that angry before, but it was ok."

Warrick shook his head. "It's not ok. Damn Sara, I didn't think he'd be that mad. I figured he'd be pleased, you know, just like you said."

She stared at the writing before her eyes until the words blurred. "I guess I was wrong."

He waited a moment before sitting up and glancing over her work, but work was far from his mind right now. "How come you didn't tell us he was seeing this woman, Anna? You must have known a lot longer than yesterday."

Sara sighed and dropped her pen onto the table. "I only found out last night."

"Last night?" He asked, still confused.

She nodded. "I was being a friend and checking on him. Cath said he called in sick."

Warrick sat up. "Ah, and you stopped by his place."

"I guess I saw too much." She shrugged.

"Hey, he'll get over it." Warrick stood up and squeezed her shoulders. "Bye."

"Yeah, thanks War." Sara looked back at her work and sighed. "I don't know if I'll get over it though." She murmured sadly.

****

Four weeks later, the gossip tree was now well informed of Grissom's life outside work. The nightshift team seemed to accept it, well, so it would seem. For one person it was still hard to forget, let alone accept, immediately.

What did it matter that he was seeing someone? He deserved some happiness after all this time. She must have blocked out all the evidence he left behind. If she'd been looking, she would have seen that she was once again the second woman, only this time nothing had happened between her and Grissom.

No wonder he had been avoiding her. He must have figured out that she was trying to get his attention personally rather than professionally. Even when it was work related he seemed to see through her.

Was she really that much of an open book?

After trying to hide her feelings for so many years, she didn't realise that it wasn't worth it. She wondered if the other's had noticed too. If Grissom had figured it out, so would have the others. After all, they are trained and seasoned investigators.

"I guess I waited too long." She sighed, her eyes drifting away from her image in the mirror to the basin of warm water. She splashed the water over her face and breathed out slowly.

Collecting her things for work, she clipped her pager to her belt as she walked out the door.

****

Scanning the perimeter, as was her job nowadays it seemed, she searched for evidence and collected it by the book. Though she was not one to make a mistake when it came to collection, she did everything she could to concentrate and leave her shortcomings at home.

Warrick and Nick were casting numerous footprints by the victims bedroom window while Grissom and Catherine processed the inside.

Always the same. Grissom and Catherine doing to inside, Warrick and Nick on the outside and Sara, well, she did the perimeter. When she was asked, she would help the others, but mostly it was pass this, pass that. Grunt work never really bothered Sara, as she knew the cadets did a lot of the work for them. She was never one to take credit from those who deserve it.

Racking up her swabs in her field kit, she slowly combed the area around her once more before packing up and heading back to the lab.

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Reaching the door quietly, Sara folded the envelope carefully so she didn't crease it, and pushed it through the letter box.

She released a deep breath and closed her eyes for a second as she turned and started back to her car.

"Can I help?" Anna's voice asked as she stood in Grissom's doorway.

Sara turned quickly in shock.

"Sorry." Anna smiled. "I didn't mean to make you jump."

Trying to relax and think of something to say, Sara stammered slightly. "Uh. I was just leaving Grissom a note." She pushed her hair from her eyes and nervously stuffed her hands into her jacket pockets.

"Oh, well… he should be back any second. Gil just drove to the store." Anna informed the jittery CSI. She stepped aside and waved her hand inside. "You can wait." She held up the envelope in her other hand.

Sara shook her head and gave a forced smile. "No, thanks. Uh, I think I'll just go home." She turned and tried hard not to run to her car.

Anna's voice echoed into the morning air. "Sara."

Stopping in her retreat, she turned slowly.

Anna sighed. "Come in for some coffee…" She paused and looked intently at Sara. "Please?"

Dropping her shoulders tiredly, Sara nodded and dragged her tired body up the few steps and hesitantly into Grissom's home. A place she had only been in twice. The first time was when she moved to Vegas and the second was the 'strip strangler' case four years back. It was an understatement to say she was nervous.

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TBC


	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4

Sitting stiffly on one of Grissom's overstuffed armchairs, Sara tried to think of something to say. She didn't want to be here when Grissom came home. The anger from their previous encounters was something she didn't want to witness. It was painful enough to know that he had moved on and that the other woman was being nice to her. The idea was to keep away from Anna and Grissom professionally and personally.

Sara didn't want to invade on his private life anymore than she already had. She knew he was an isolated being, and liked his privacy. And she had already been on the receiving end if that privacy was invaded.

"I should go." Sara said quietly and she pushed herself to stand.

Anna smiled. "Gil won't be long. Would you like some coffee or tea perhaps?"

Why was she being nice? Didn't she realise that she didn't want to be here? Once Grissom saw her in his home, with his girlfriend… he'd freak out.

"I should get going. Uh, thanks for letting me wait." The words stumbled out of her mouth and once she heard them, she could have slapped herself.

"I'll let Gil know you were here." Anna offered politely.

Sara stared at the tall woman. She was in her late 40's and had light brown hair down past her shoulders. Her figure was small and lithe, athletic and curvy. Her relaxed posture was unnerving to say the least. Sara would never be that relaxed in Grissom's home, let alone around Grissom himself.

But what did this matter anymore? She would never find out if she could grow accustomed to being that close to Grissom, though she had tried. After seeing this woman as an important part of her boss' life, she knew that whatever happened form now and onwards, she would have to keep herself alert at all times.

No more shared looks that were, in her mind, meaningful. No more comfortable talks in his office about cases at the end of shift. All that they had been doing would have to be stopped or she would find out just how serious Gil Grissom was with his relationship with Anna. Whether it was long term or not, she now knew that he was not interested in her, anymore if ever.

These thoughts crushed her heart and the tightness was too much. She needed to leave now before she did something embarrassing, like crying in front of her true love's girlfriend.

Mentally giving herself a shake, she burned those thoughts from her mind. She couldn't keep thinking like this. If she was going to move on, eventually, then she needed to see the reality of what was happening before her very eyes.

He loved someone, just not her. Sara should have realised that a long time ago, but her heart was too foolish to listen.

Breaking herself from her heartbreak, Sara turned and walked towards the door. "If you could just give him the envelope." She pulled the door open and turned to look at the woman that had captured Grissom's heart. "It was nice to meet you." A second later, Sara was in her car and driving as far from the townhouse as the road would take her.

****

It wasn't often that she would drive to a deserted place and just sit in her car, the air conditioning full blast and her eyes filling with unshed tears with her heart pressing forcefully against her ribcage.

"If only you knew what you were doing to yourself." She berated her very being and her actions. No matter how much she cried, she couldn't stop the pain or get past the feeling of total loss.

"You're an idiot and no matter what happens, you'll never be happy." She blinked and the tears fell like a waterfall.

It didn't matter that she was the only one that knew how she felt deep inside. She knew that the others would have noticed the attention she was giving Grissom. Only to have it thrown back in her face when the shit truly hit the fan.

Who would have known that he would actually find someone else? After all these years and of all the woman that he could never hold on to, she really thought that he was waiting for her. How stupid can you get? Why would anyone like him wait for someone like her?

Blindly reaching for her cell phone, she dialled her parent's number and pulled the device to her ear to wait. After getting the answer machine, she left a message, her crying evident in her voice.

"Hey mom. I was wondering if I could come home for the weekend. Something's come up and- I just wanna see you. Call me if it's ok." She pressed the end button and held her cell phone in her hand tightly.

"I might as well send myself to the guillotine. He's putting me through much worse."

****

Grissom closed the door behind him and made his way across the room to the kitchen. "Hey." He smiled as he saw Anna standing by the coffee pot.

"Hey honey." She poured herself a cup and retrieved a cup from the cupboard to pour another. "You had a visitor while you were out."

"Really? Who?" He asked as he unpacked the grocery bag.

"Sara." Anna smiled sadly as she turned and sipped her coffee. "She left about ten minutes ago. Poor thing seemed rattled about something." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out the envelope Sara had left.

Grissom took the envelope and opened it. "Was she ok?" He asked with slight worry hidden in his tone.

"Don't know. She didn't want to wait." She chuckled lightly. "You sure know how to show your employee who's the boss don't you?"

Not paying attention, he pulled out a single piece of paper as he pushed his glasses more comfortably on his nose.

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'Hi. I'm going away for the weekend. Just in case you put me on call. I didn't get time to check the rota. If you think it's an inconvenient time, I can change my plans and work. Page me if that's the case. Sara'

Just as he was going to look up, he noticed another, smaller, envelope folded behind the note. He opened it and walked away from the kitchen. He sat down at his desk and read the more detailed letter inside.

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'Grissom,

I'm not sure why I am writing this now. At first it was just a way to clear my head and make things seem sense, but as I started to write, I realised that I have too much on my mind to write it all down.

I am sorry about what happened last month. You know how the lab can be about twisting things. If you feel uncomfortable, I'll understand if you don't want to work with me. I'm used to it now anyways. Warrick is sorry about saying anything to the others. I guess something like your private life is juicy gossip. I wouldn't know why, but I'm sure it's because you don't let anyone know who you are away from work.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry again, you know, for being so rude the other week at your house. I had no right being there. I guess I stepped over the mark again. If you would forgive me I will do anything to put things right between us… as friends I mean or if you don't think that's a good idea, I understand. Work is probably the best way to keep things simple and the gossip tree free of new talk. I can be professional and I'd never mention anything about your home life with anyone again. I just hope you know that you can trust me and I'm sorry for breaking your trust in the first place.

A few more things.

I'm-happy for you. What ever the other's say at the lab, I'm glad you found someone that makes you feel alive and worth living your life again. I guess I thought I could be that person, as a friend I mean, but I should have known you'd find someone.

I know that I've said things over the years that have no doubt sounded completely pathetic and confusing, but in my head I thought I was doing the right things. Guess I don't really know you as well as I thought or would like. Maybe one day we can be friends again like we used to be a long time ago. I've considered that friendship more than I'd like to admit and when I gave in my LOA letter two years ago, it wasn't sudden. It was something I thought you'd want.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't reconsidered leaving. I might in the end. I'm just not sure what I'd do. I don't think I could find another job as a CSI. My track record isn't that great and I've had my own blunders over the years and even though my solve rate and knowledge is high, I'd still have trouble.

After I get back from my short break, I should have some things figured out. I might leave or I might stay, but I'm not going to guilt you this time. You don't have any obligation towards me, you never have. I know you're my boss and was once, my friend, but that was a long time ago. Now you're just my boss and I'd never forget that.

Finally, after boring you to death with my babbling… I hope you're happy. You have something people like us don't find easily. We're more alike than I care to admit, but you got your life just like you told me I deserved one only a year ago. Everyone deserves a life, even you Gil Grissom.

From Sara'

The irony of that last line was not lost on him even though his head was reeling with what he'd just read.

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TBC


	5. Chapter 5

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Chapter 5

Sara's mother had called back as soon as she heard the message. She caught Sara on her way back into Vegas.

"I'll be there tonight Mom." Sara told her mother as clearly as she could as she tried to hide the fact that she was still crying a little.

"Ok honey. You will drive carefully won't you? I don't want to get a phone call from a hospital or a visit from the police. You know how much it concerns me when you insist driving rather than flying." Mrs. Sidle continued to ramble her concerns to her daughter as Sara reached the inner city towards her apartment.

"Mom." Her mother still chattered in her ear as Sara wiped her eyes at a red light. "Mom, I'll be there in one piece. Don't worry. I've driven the same roads since forever. Don't stress yourself out and I'll see you tonight." She waited as silence greeted her.

Finally Mrs. Sidle breathed out a heavy sigh. "Ok Sara."

Hearing the smile in her mothers voice, Sara sighed a little happier. "Bye Mom, see you later."

"Right. Bye honey, drive safe."

"I will. Bye." Sara hung up and headed home.

****

Smoothing out the letter for the fourth time, Grissom reached for his cell phone and dialled her number. If she was going away, he needed to talk to her before she left.

Engaged.

Closing his cell, he sighed and leaned back in his chair. Defeat and sadness filled his pores. He knew he had waited too long. After all that they had been through, he still kept her at a distance and the outcome was worse than he had imagined.

"You and Sara-" Anna interrupted his thoughts.

He looked up and shook his head. "Its complicated."

Anna moved into his office and sat down on the corner of the desk. "Complicated?" She sighed and reached for his hand. "Gil, you know things are what you make them."

He looked at their hands and squeezed hers before pulling his away and rubbing his face with both hands tiredly.

"Do you regret what we've done?" Anna asked him quietly.

Grissom's head snapped up. "What? No." He quickly replied, getting up to hold her. "I'd never regret anything we've done."

Anna leaned her head against his shoulder and breathed in deeply before letting it out. "I guess it's about time this fantasy ended huh?"

Chuckling lightly, he kissed her neck. "And what a fabulous fantasy it was."

"Hmm yeah, that it was." Anna said dreamily, running her fingernails over his scalp and through his curly soft hair.

"I've got so much grovelling to do." He sighed heavily, tightening his hold on her warm body.

Pulling back to look into his eyes, she stared at him with dark eyes. "I get the impression that she's not that kind of girl."

Grissom nodded, his eyes looking over her shoulder. "Sara's a strong individual. She's me in a lot of ways, but different in many others." He paused for a thoughtful second. "She's-"

"Your equal." Anna finished. She smiled slightly and shook her head as she ran her hand down his face. "We've had our fun, but it's time for us to go back to the real world. I've already hurt someone I don't know-"

"Ann." He sighed. "Don't blame yourself. It was me that started this stepping stone game between Sara and I. It's nothing to do with you. She just happened to find out and the others, well, the other's don't know anything but what the gossip tree tells them."

Anna smiled. "What will you do?"

Grissom shrugged, pulling back from her body to step away from her. "I guess I go to work and hope she's there."

"And what if she's not?" Anna asked.

He looked out the window and dropped his shoulders. "I can't do anything until she comes back from vacation. I don't even know where she is."

"I'd let her think things over and then you can tell her what you know in your heart when she returns." Anna helpfully suggested as she approached him from behind to circle her arms around his waist.

The tension was building in his muscles. "I can't believe I let it get this far." He growled at himself.

"Honey, calm down." She ran her hands up to his shoulders and rubbed them as she kissed the back of his neck. "Beating yourself up over this is not going to help."

Sighing in frustration, he leaned back into her hands. "What ever happens, you're still part of my life."

"That's pretty much a given." Anna grinned. "But we're in the past Gil. You have a future with someone else and you need to jump some hurdles before you can rest."

"Mhmm, a metaphor I understand." He chuckled.

"You should, they're your hurdles." Anna turned him and cupped his face. "I'm leaving tonight. I'll call you when I get home. Don't be a stranger." She kissed him softly.

Returning the light kiss, Grissom sighed. "I'll have to tell her."

Anna nodded as she stepped back form him. "I know. And I trust you. Tell her everything if you must, but don't make excuses. Tell the truth, from your heart." She smiled before turning and leaving him standing by the window of his office, looking out at the city bustle of mid-afternoon.

****

Walking into the trace lab, he looked cautiously around him to spot the infamously annoying Trace tech, David Hodges. When he felt it was safe to go about his work, he slipped onto the stool and pulled out an evidence bindle from his lab coat pocket.

"Hey Boss!"

Grissom jumped, but continued to work. "Hodges." He said sternly.

"Sorry." He mumbled, moving around to the other side of the table to watch what was going on. "What you got?"

Looking up over the rims of his glasses, Grissom stared at the young man for a moment before answering. "A fibre."

"Really?" Hodges asked. "You know, that's my expertise." He gloated mockingly, moving to reach for the evidence Grissom was holding.

"Haven't you got break coming up?" Grissom asked tersely, pulling his evidence away from the tech's hand.

"Sure!" Hodges smirked and left the room. Before he left the lab completely, he popped his head back into the room with a questioning look. "Hey boss?"

Grissom looked up slowly and turned his head reluctantly towards the tech. "What?"

"Nick asked me to tell you that if it was ok with his case detective, he was going to check out Sara's case. Apparently it's linked to his… or something or other." Hodges shrugged and walked away.

Looking completely confused, Grissom turned back to his work. Halfway through placing some of the fibre onto a slide, something started to nag at his unconscious. It was like he was supposed to be remembering something or be someplace, but nothing came to him.

"Yo Grissom." Warrick greeted as he slipped into the room. "You figure out what that fibre's from yet?"

Shaking his head, Grissom pushed the slide under the scope and removed his glasses. "Just about too."

After a moment, Warrick leaned against the table and sighed tiredly. "Man, I wish Nick would hurry up checking on Sara's witness from last week. He's been hours already."

Grissom leaned back with furrowed brows. "Sara."

Warrick looked at the older man with his own furrowed brow. "Yeah." He said slowly. "She was working that case about the housing estate robbery, remember? She had an eyewitness that could identify the robbers, but she's not back from vacation yet and we can't reach her."

Taking a moment to let the words absorb, he snapped to attention. "Warrick… finish this. I'll be in my office."

"Where ya going?" Warrick asked.

"I've just remembered something." He quickly replied.

****

TBC


	6. Chapter 6

****

Chapter 6

Sitting at his desk just minutes after he left Trace, he knew he'd done the unimaginable.

He forgot about Sara.

Clenching the desk phone in his hand, his head hung in frustration. He had tried ringing both her cell and home numbers, but found that neither was going to be answered. Either she knew he was ringing and she wasn't going to answer, or she didn't know and wasn't going to answer. There are other possible explanations that would come to him if he could calm down, but right now, all he could think of was Sara.

"God Damnit!" He cursedly hissed into his hand.

****

"What is she doing here?" Mr. Sidle snapped as he entered the public living area of the bed and breakfast. The same bed and breakfast that he and his wife had owned since their hippy days and the same home he had raised both his now grown up children.

Mrs. Sidle defended her daughter, placing a restraining hand on her shoulder to stop her from standing up and leaving. "Sara's taken a vacation."

Removing his coat, he gave his daughter a once over. "She's not pregnant is she?"

Sara's jaw tightened. "No. I'm not pregnant Dad."

"Andrew, please." Mrs. Sidle pleaded with her husband. "It's been a rough few days, can we please leave this out?"

Mr. Sidle sighed and sat down. "Fine."

Sara sat back and shook her head. "I can't believe you still don't want anything to do with me."

Andrew chuckled joylessly. "You're the one that left Sara. I only wanted what was best for you."

"I went to college Dad! How can that not be best for me?" Sara asked demandingly.

"You were going to be a great physicist Sara." He said almost to himself.

Mrs. Sidle sat down beside her husband and took his hand. "We can't let that pull us apart, dear."

He nodded, but carried on as if he hadn't heard her. "Then you got into forensics. That damned professor." He cursed. "If it wasn't for him, then you'd be at some top lab right now or teaching. Something that could make a difference."

Sara stared at him disbelievingly. "How can you say my job doesn't make a difference?" She stood up and walked a few steps towards the door, but stopped and turned. "That professor, has a name and that professor introduced me to something better, something more challenging. I found something I liked and something I was good at."

She shook her head and pointed at her father with a mocking cynical smile. "Now you got what you wanted. I'm no longer going to be a forensic scientist. I'm going to go back to school and finish my physicist degree. So, thank you for you support Dad. I failed, just like you said I would."

Mrs. Sidle tried to stop Sara from leaving the room, but didn't reach her in time. She looked at her husband.

Andrew shrugged innocently at his wife's stare. "What?"

"You just had to come home and be an ass, didn't you." She snapped before storming out of the room to find Sara.

****

"I don't really care what you did Gil, you screwed up." Anna remarked as she walked around the living room with a half full glass of wine.

"But, I really need to find her." Grissom stammered. He lifted his face from his cupped hands and looked desperately at the woman pacing back and forth. "I need you to help me find her."

Anna stopped and turned to him. "You have got to be kidding?" Her eyebrows shot up when he shook his head. "You do realise that as soon as she finds out, she's not going to talk to you. Not after nearly four days."

Grissom opened his mouth to speak, but Anna spoke up again with mild amusement. "Four days. Jesus Gil, I know you weren't like this ten years ago. What the hell happened that you forgot about her for four days?"

"A bus crash in the highlands. Twenty-three teenagers were injured and four were killed." He intoned.

Anna stared at him. After a minute, she sipped her wine and sighed. "Ok, that, I suppose could distract you, but…" She shrugged. "You probably have no hope of finding her and she's probably unreachable and vanished from this face of the earth, making it very hard for you to track her down."

Grissom slumped backwards. "Thanks Ann, you made me feel better with that little snippet of encouragement." He snapped sarcastically.

"Anything to help babe." She grinned.

"I need to think." He groaned, rubbing his neck.

Placing her glass down on the coffee table, Anna kneeled on the couch and sighed. "Ok, turn." She commanded. When he did, she squeezed his shoulders tightly. "You think." She instructed him.

Thinking was becoming impossible with her there. Usually he could think with her around, but now it was only becoming more of a distraction, but not in the sexually context like it used to be. He'd made a big mistake sleeping with her after all this time and now his life was dangling by a thread because he was caught in the act of indulgence. Caught by the one person he feared the most.

"Ann?" He asked quietly.

"Yes."

He pulled away from her hands and turned to face her. His eyes looked into hers. "I need, to find her."

"I know." She nodded and offered him a reassuring smile. "I'll call the airports, you call the bus stations. It's a starting place."

Grissom sighed and shook his head. "I did that from work when I couldn't get hold of her. No one by that name has left Vegas."

"What about… driving?" Anna asked. "Could Sara have driven someplace? Someplace close by perhaps?"

He shrugged. "I doubt that. She doesn't know many people in Vegas, so I doubt she made friends on the border either."

"Where's her family?" Anna asked, sitting up slightly at the thought. "Could she have gone to stay with them?"

Grissom started to shake his head, but paused. "She doesn't get on with her father, but she's very close to her mother and brother."

"Did you try her parents place?" Anna asked as she got up to get the phone.

He sighed. "No. I don't have a number."

"You have an address?" Grabbing the phone, she picked up the phonebook as well.

"I did." He stood and took his phonebook from her to quickly flipped through it. "I've had this since LA, so it should be in here." He muttered almost to himself as his fingers searched through the pages of addresses and numbers.

Anna sat down on the couch and reached for her glass of wine. "Where about do her parents live?"

"California," He replied distractedly. "San Francisco." He groaned in frustration when he couldn't find the address. "Damnit, where is it!?" He snapped the book closed and forcefully threw it at the floor before storming off to his bedroom to check his drawers for an older phonebook.

Anna retrieved the book from the floor and flipped slowly through it. "Funny that I'm the calm one here my dear Gil." She said sweetly when he returned to the room in a worse state than when he left moments before.

He looked at her. "Ann, this is no time to brag."

"Good." She flashed him a smile and held up the book. "Found it, I think. Sidle? Right?"

Grissom nodded, quickly crossing the room to sit down beside her. "You found it!" He grinned.

****

TBC


	7. Chapter 7

****

Note: Sorry about the delay. I had a wedding to attend. Now I've got another weeks worth of reading to catch up on. I'm so so behind, it's not even funny any more. I'll get another chapter to you in the next day or so. Thank you for all those who have reviewed and for everyone's patience. It's a short chapter, but the others will be longer, promise.

Chapter 7

Later that evening, Andrew walked through the lower living areas of the bed and breakfast looking for his wife, but he stumbled upon his daughter instead. He watched her from his place by the door. No matter what he tried, he couldn't stop thinking about the waste of a hotshot life she had been holding on to all these years.

****

Sara knew that she had to think fast about what she was going to do. She had been here for the weekend and even stayed for an extra two days just to see what happens, though she knew deep inside that nothing would change.

He wouldn't come after her and the act of even staying away like she had, made her angry and sick for being so stupid and childish.

The letter had said everything. She didn't really know what she was going to do, though she had told her parents something to keep them quiet. Her mother had only asked a few questions about what she was going to do while at college, but Sara didn't have an answer for her.

It was time to move on. Sara had finally decided.

If he had forgotten so easily and so quickly, she could too… at least try to forget.

But, who would have thought that Gil Grissom, her mentor and friend, loner and socially awkward Entomologist and CSI, would fall in love with someone of his own generation and of same interest.

Sara didn't know.

It was only too fitting that she was the one that was too late. The one that was left to swallow her childish thoughts and feelings. The one that was left with no one to love and be loved back.

****

Her thoughts were abruptly shattered by her father's voice behind her.

"Where's your mother?" Andrew asked rather emotionlessly as he moved into the room, scanning the small room.

Sara turned slightly and leaned against the wall. "I think she was going to make some coffee." She turned back to look out the window, watching the ocean come and go. No matter what she did, she could never do anything right by her father, unless it was failing.

He was about to leave, but decided that it was now or never. He needed to say his peace before he managed to make things worse by running off his mouth.

"Sara…" He cleared his throat nervously before continuing. "Whatever you decide to do, your mother and I will stand by you." Having caught her eyes briefly, he left.

Standing alone in the room with not a soul but her own, Sara's head dropped slightly at the weight of the millions of thoughts racing through her mind. It was the same every time. She was stuck at the beginning with her father. Her mother had spoken to him and he was making an effort for her sake. That was love. She told herself with an underlying pain in her chest.

****

Grissom leaned over the side of the conveyor belt and extracted his small travel holdall. His plane had only landed minutes before and his car was waiting for him at the rental desk. He only needed to get his bag and retrieve the keys from the valet.

He had his bag and he was signing for the car in seconds as he rushed out of the airport, trying to get to Tamales Bay as quickly as possible.

He didn't have a phone number and though he had tried to find one, he figured they either didn't have phones or the world was against him. Even if that were true, he couldn't blame mankind for it's hold-ups.

Thinking about it, he had made the worse blunder in history.

****

"Stewart! I don't care." Sara bubbled with laughter as her big brother teased her with a flying tea towel.

"It's your last chance Sara!" The tall dark hared man yelled mock angrily as he swung the towel at her again.

Sara giggled and backed up quickly, tripping over her own feet as she retreated. "Fine! Fine!" She conceded and turned before she fell out the door. She hit the doorframe and giggled as her brother laughed loudly.

"Yeah yeah!" She glared good naturedly at him and shrugged off her mothers curious look from behind the reception desk as she made her way from the kitchen to the stairs. "Catch you later Stewy!"

"It's Stewart!" Her brother growled in a short laugh before the kitchen went silent again.

"Whatever!" Sara threw over her shoulder as she sprinted up the steps.

"Will they ever learn that this is a place of business and not a playground, Suzy?" Andrew complained to his wife, though his eyes were bright with amusement.

She chuckled good-naturedly as she filled out the order book. "I very much doubt it. They grew up here after all, dear." She looked up at him and offered him an adoring smile. "To them, this is their playground and home. I'd let them play as long as they are happy."

Andrew nodded and moved to stand beside her. "Have you spoken to her?" He asked, shuffling some papers around.

Sue sighed and closed the order book. "There's nothing to talk about. She's made up her mind."

"When is she leaving?" Andrew asked, looking up when the entrance door opened.

"Tomorrow afternoon." Sue answered, her eyes following her husbands. "Can I help you?" She asked politely.

"Hi, I'm looking for Sara Sidle."

Andrew immediately bristled at the sound of the newcomers voice. He stepped around the bar and looked them over with a sharp look in his eyes. "You've got some nerve." His voice dripped with held back anger.

Sue held out her hand to stop her husband. "Hold on, what's going on here? Andrew?" She looked between them before shifting her eyes to the sound of someone coming from the stairs.

Sara smiled at her mother as she jumped the last step, but all but slipped when the newcomer turned around. Her father could be seen holding his temper, but it was about to boil over and her mother wasn't going to be able to control him when it did. Sara could see it all happen before her eyes, the blood shed.

"Sara." Grissom's voice caught her attention again and she near turned and ran, but held herself in check as he made a move to walk towards her.

****

TBC


	8. Chapter 8

****

Chapter 8

For a moment, she took a few steps towards him. Her face full of surprise and for a fraction of a second there was a warmth flowing through her.

He was here. He was standing only a few feet from her. And she couldn't stop the feeling that rose up in her chest to bump into her heart.

"You're here." She said softly, but then something hit her and the warm feeling was squashed with ice cold fear.

Sara held up her hand and shook her head, not believing what she was about to do. "What are you doing here Grissom?" She tried to make her voice hard and stern, but something slipped through to make it sound like a breathless gasp. Her surprise was evident on both their faces.

"I got your letter." He moved closer, coming to a stop before her. "I couldn't let you leave."

Andrew stepped in and glared at Grissom for a moment, then looked at Sara. "What letter? You didn't say you left a letter, to him, of all people."

Sara's eyes shifted to her father's. "He's my boss Dad. Of course there's going to be a letter. And I don't need to tell you anything. This has nothing to do with you." She took a deep breath and turned away.

"Sara." Grissom called hastily. "We need to discuss this." He dug into his pants pocket and pulled out the envelope she had left for him, no doubt housing the letter she'd wrote.

Sue took Sara's hand and smiled gently at Grissom. "Maybe you could wait in the living area. I'm sure Sara wants to talk to you too." She gave her husband a pointed look. "Andrew can get you a cup of coffee while you wait. Can't you dear." She gave no room for argument.

****

Sue closed the door to the kitchen, slowly backing away from the door to give them some privacy. It might have been easier to let them talk in the living area or the dining room, but customers were coming back from trips out and others coming back from the beach.

She only hoped that her daughter wouldn't ruin her life because of something she was running away from.

****

Grissom stood in the doorway to the kitchen, though the door was shut, he could still hear activity outside in the reception hall.

When he looked up, he saw Sara standing in front of the stove, facing away from him. He took a deep breath before attempting to speak, though it was cut short when the back door opened and Stewart stumbled into the room with a pile of boxes containing potatoes.

"Hey, grab a box would ya sis?" Stewart puffed.

Sara took the top box and was surprised when Grissom took the next one, so they were all carrying a box each.

"Thanks." Stewart breathed hard as he dropped his box on the large unit in the centre of the kitchen. He looked up to see the other two standing silently.

Sue called out Stewart's name, knowing where he was and knowing it wasn't the right time for introductions. Of course, it had nothing to do with the fact that her ear was pressed to the door the instance she closed it on them in the first place.

Alone again, Sara absently picked up a baby potato and roll it in her hands nervously. "That's Stewart, my big brother." She told him, returning the potato to the box.

Grissom nodded, looking at the door as though her brother was standing there. "He's the cook?" Though it wasn't what he wanted to talk about, it was as good a place to start than any.

Sara smiled proudly. "Yeah. He's only here for the summer, then he's going to head back north to his wife. She travels a lot and won't be back from Europe until then."

"Oh." He nodded again, moving closer to the centre unit to lean slightly against it. "Sara-" He began, but paused when she sighed.

"Grissom, listen, I know things haven't been right between us for a long time, but please don't be here to tell me the lab needs me." She looked up when he didn't say anything.

The actually thought, among many more, was that he'd turn up out of the blue just to plead his case of not being able to hire someone on such short notice. Or, the fact that he only wanted her back in the professional sense, didn't go over too well either.

"That's not why I'm here." He eventually said, feeling a little drained from the journey. He moved to pull a stool from under the unit and sat down.

Sara watched for a moment, before grabbing the coffee and filling two cups. She was tired after her trip here and all she wanted was coffee and sleep. At least she could do something right and fill that need for him even if it wasn't received.

He reached for the cup she placed in front of him. "Thank you." He said sincerely, causing Sara to freeze.

It wasn't everyday something as small as pouring a coffee was thankfully received from him. It was usually a grunt or nod before he turned and left. Sara still felt like he was going to turn and leave, but as she stood and waited, it never happened.

"You must be hungry." She hesitantly suggested.

"No, Sara…" He sighed and set his cup down, wrapping both hands around it. "I'm not hungry, Sara. Please, just tell me what's going on."

She shrugged and pulled herself up to sit on the kitchen unit beside the stove, across from the beseeching eyes in front of her. "I needed a break."

"Right." He sighed heavily. "So, you were going to come back-"

"To Vegas? Sure… To Work? No." She answered firmly. Some of her fears had pushed back to let a little anger seep through. It was still amazing how this man could make her feel one thing and feel something else completely in only a matter of seconds.

Grissom stared at her wide-eyed and stock still, not sure what to say. How could she not come home? Her whole life was in Vegas, with Warrick, Nick and the others. The lab was like a second home for her, she'd even joked about it several times in the past.

Something stuck him then and he realised that that was what it was. Everything that was once in the past was now just that, the past. To this day, he could remember the tiny changes and he suddenly saw them all in clear clarity and to the honest truth, it scared him more than what he had been avoiding for a long time.

Nothing in his entire life had prepared him for this, nothing.

"Well," He shook his head and shrugged casually. "I'm sorry Sara, but no."

Feeling like she was suddenly being spoken to by her mother, she recoiled. "What?"

Grissom shrugged again. "I said no. Putting the whole job issue aside, there's the letter to discuss and after all this time, I finally want to know."

"Know what?" Sara asked, dumbfound at what she was hearing.

Heaving a heavy sigh, he tutted, very un-Grissom like, and stood, pushing his stool back to stand up straight. "I think this has gone too far, don't you?"

"Know what?" She insisted.

"About what you want to do about us." He clarified, walking around the unit.

Shaking her head slowly, Sara chuckled mirthlessly. "This is no joke Grissom. Stop playing games. If you want me to forget about everything I've ever done to influence and… seduce you, then… then, done." She finally spat out, looking up in time to see him stop in front of her, nearly touching her knees with his hips.

"What would be the point?" He asked rhetorically, catching her confused stare. "If I asked that of you, I'd have to do the same thing." He shook his head quickly as he went on. "I very much know that I can't do that, no matter how much I try, you'll always be on my mind."

****

TBC


	9. Chapter 9

****

Chapter 9

Sara couldn't help it, whether it was stress or just the situation, but she burst out laughing. Sliding off the unit, she rubbed her eyes from the tiredness. "As much as I'm enjoying our chat, I'm going to pack."

Grissom grabbed her hand, stopping her retreat. His body was close enough to feel, though he wasn't touching her. His fingers wrapped around hers to pull it to his chest and hold it there as his eyes looked down at her face that was no doubt watching their hands.

"The letter-" He started.

"Was a mistake in judgement." She interrupted. "I was upset and exhausted." She tried to lie, but he saw straight through it. She could tell when she felt his fingers tighten around hers.

"That letter…" He paused as his free hand pulled out the letter in question. "This letter." He stressed. "Brought out feelings I only have when I'm around you. This letter," He insisted, tilting his head to see her downcast eyes. "Was what made me see what I was doing was so wrong I'll never forgive myself."

"It's your life." She said quietly, avoiding eye contact.

"No, it's our life. Don't you see that Sara?" He huffed loudly. "No matter what I do, you are always there. Day in day out. I can't escape you."

"I'm sorry." Sara whispered brokenly. She didn't know her being around him did that.

"No." He moaned tiredly. "Sara, please. I'm trying to talk to you, but it's all coming out wrong."

Slipping her hand out from his grip, she moved around him, only to have him turn with her.

"What happened a few weeks back is ripping me apart!" He cried out, trying to get her to hear him.

Stopping halfway across the kitchen, she groaned loudly and raised her hands angrily before dropping them to her sides and turning to him. "My God Grissom! Listen to yourself!" She shouted, begging him to just leave things alone now he had things the way they should have been, without her.

"I'm listening!" He snapped. "Are you?!" He ran his fingers through his hair, feeling the stress building. "There's so much you don't know."

"I don't need to know about your love life." She preached. "I can't believe that you're here at all. There's nothing to say, no matter what I say or feel, you'll go on with your life, back in Vegas." She shrugged sadly. "Let me move on without a fight, please. It's what has to be done. Go back home to your girlfriend and forgot this ever happened."

"She's not my girlfriend." He corrected.

"Whatever." Sara breathed.

Taking a deep breath, he decided it was time to fill in the blanks and fix this right now before anything else went wrong. "She's my wife." Cringing and panicking at the stunned expression on Sara's face, he hurriedly continued. "My ex-wife."

Not believing her ears, Sara blinked in quick succession, then dropped her eyes to her feet. "Oh."

"Ex-wife Sara." He repeated, watching her shoulders rise and fall with each breath she took. "It was a long time ago. Long before I met you." He explained, hoping he could tell her without her leaving. "We were young and naïve, still in college… it was a love at first sight thing."

Sara turned her head slightly. "Do you think telling me this is going to change things?" She asked, causing him to stop. "Things have already changed, so many times."

"Then let it change again." He said softly, walking towards her. "I can't think of the words I want to say to you." He sighed and shook his head. "And there is so much to be said Sara."

Thinking about the time she first discovered him with another woman, she couldn't help feel that it all made sense now. It was starting to make sense. The years of avoidance and pain, all for another woman. She still couldn't believe she was sucked in by his mixed signals. She should have left a long time ago and saved herself the pain she was feeling now.

She startled with his touch and spun around to push on his chest. "Go Home."

Shocked by her reaction, he quickly clasped her hand in his and pulled her towards him. "I won't let you push us away Sara."

Trying to pull her hand from his, she snapped angrily at him, staring straight into his eyes. "You made it clear there was no us Grissom."

"And I'm Sorry!" He stressed, wrapping his other hand over both hers. "Stop running away."

"I'm not. That's your MO." She said facetiously.

Grissom's eyes bore into hers with hurt and pain. He slowly let her hands slip from his and step away form him.

****

Sue looked up from her nails when the kitchen door swung open and Sara ran out. "Sara?" She called, but her daughter ran up the stairs without stopping.

Andrew appeared by his wife's side. "What happened?" He asked, not being in the hall meant he didn't hear the outbursts from the kitchen only moments ago.

"Sara!" Grissom shouted as he left the kitchen. He briefly turned to the Sidles. "I'm sorry." He charged up the stairs.

"I think I know the reason behind why Sara's here and why she doesn't want to go back." Sue smiled at her husband. "She's in love."

Andrew raised a sceptical eyebrow and nodded towards the stairs. "That doesn't look like love to me."

"Ah, but it is." Sue said cryptically and took her husbands hand to drag him back to the living area.

****

Sara managed to reach the top floor and her bedroom door before Grissom reached the top of the stairs. She slammed her door and it bounced open unnoticed as she grabbed her bags and started stuffing what wasn't packed into them.

"Where will you go?" Grissom's breathless question went unheard as she continued to pack.

After a moment, he approached her and took her arms from behind to stop her jerky movements. "Listen, just for a minute so I can tell you something." He pleaded into her ear with such desperation it made her cry.

"I can't listen to your words anymore Griss." She said shakily.

"Then listen to my actions." Turning her quickly and before she could stop him, he planted his mouth over hers in a very chaste kiss.

She stared into his eyes with shocked ones of her own. And before she could protest, she felt his lips move against hers and all she could do was close her eyes and surrender to him.

Breaking the slow kiss, she gently pulled away from him shaking her head. "No, you can't do this."

"Sara." He pleaded, moving to take her into his arms again and kiss her.

For only a moment did she let herself crumble, but soon she gathered her thought processes and stepped back, holding out her hand against his chest to stop him. "You slept with her." She whispered brokenly.

He took her hand and raised it to his lips, placing a soft kiss on her palm. "It'll never happen again. I can promise you."

"You still slept with her." She looked at him. "I couldn't even date another guy without feeling guilty." She told him honestly, tears falling. "What makes you so sure you won't do it again?" She asked.

Lacing their fingers together, he stepped closer. "I can give you something I could never give her or any other woman." He promised.

Sara sighed sadly. "There's nothing you can give me."

"Yes there is, but I can only give it if you accept and return it."

His eyes held something Sara had never seen before. "What?" She breathed.

"Love." He whispered softly, blinking slowly over blue eyes.

"You said-" She tried.

"I was young Sara." He interrupted, knowing she was going to bring up his first love comment. "I'm sure you had one of those."

She shook her head.

"No?" He asked questioningly.

She shook her head again and squeezed his hand. "You were my first love." She watched his eyes as they darkened in disappointment. "Are." She whispered. "You still are my first love."

****

TBC


	10. Chapter 10

****

Chapter 10

After that revelation and Sara's mother interrupting them, Grissom made Sara promise not to go anywhere. That she was to stay at the B&B while she helped her mother and he waited.

Now he was standing out on the deck, looking out at the beach and the raging ocean as the sun started setting on the horizon.

Andrew tapped his pipe in his palm to clean it out of burnt ash as he left the doorway to walk towards the silent man that was staring out at the view.

"Quiet evening." Andrew said causally as he pulled out his tobacco pouch.

Grissom turned briefly to acknowledge the older man. "It is."

Placing some tobacco into the pipe, Andrew stood, looking at Grissom as he looked elsewhere. "What are your intentions?"

Grissom glanced at the man again. "My intentions." He stated. "Are for Sara only."

Andrew nodded silently as he tucked his tobacco pouch back into his pocket and dug out a match. He scratched it along the rail of the deck and it sparked. "We haven't formally met." He said after a moment, lighting his pipe and puffing between words.

Shaking the match to deplete if of life, he tossed it to the floor. "Andrew Sidle. I'm Sara's father."

Grissom reluctantly turned and held out his hand. "Gil Grissom. Sara's boss."

Andrew chuckled. "I know. I've heard a lot about you over the years. Through my wife, that is." He explained at Grissom's odd look. "You probably know that Sara and I don't really get on, but one of us has to be the stern one. Sue was always the relaxed parent."

"I guess Sara gets her temperament and stubbornness from her fathers side then?" Grissom sighed as soon as the words flew from his mouth, ready to apologise. "I'm sorry, it's just-"

"That's ok." Andrew chuckled. "I guess it's true. She's me in a lot of ways, but it's a good thing she's got more of Suzy's traits than mine." Puffing a few times on his pipe, Andrew looked over the horizon before turning to lean back against the rail.

"Has Sara told you, or Mrs Sidle, what she's going to do?" Grissom asked suddenly, still staring out at the ocean, his arms resting on the rail's top and his feet cross at the ankles so he was leaning completely against the rail.

Andrew shrugged, taking a few short puffs before breathing the smoke out. "She's mentioned going back to college. I guess it's a good thing really, she was upset though, so I'm not certain what her plans are now." He turned his head to look at him. "She tells her mother most things. Or she'll tell you."

Grissom sighed and steepled his fingers before lacing them and resting his chin on them. "She used to tell me lots of things, but it's been so long since we even talked civilly." He huffed a short laugh at the questioning look in Andrew's eyes. "Don't get me wrong, she's the perfect professional at work, but you wind up alone and it can be World War III. Sara's not one to start an argument, but when it's me, she's tempted."

"And she argues with you?" Andrew asked, amused at such a thought. "I don't think I've known her to pick an argument. She's always been the quiet of the two. Her and Stewart always got on. He's only 3 years older that she is, but it's always Stewart that would test the boundaries of her temper."

Grissom chuckled. "Yeah, well, she's got a temper and she can use it quite sharply when she wants to."

"Hmm… only with you, you say?" Andrew thought about this and decided it was only going to make Sara suspicious. "After what Sue told me, I'd say Sara's got something on her mind that only you can help her with."

Though Sara and her father weren't close, that didn't mean her father couldn't at least make an effort to patch years of mistakes with a few teasing words.

"Like I said, that's for only Sara to hear." Grissom knew what Andrew was doing and felt strangely comforted by it. "Though," He continued. "I will tell you something." Grissom pushed back to stand tall. "I've got my faults and I've not done what I should have for a long time, but I will change that, starting now."

Andrew smirked behind his pipe as he puffed happily and watched Grissom stride off down the deck steps and onto the beach where Sara and her mother were walking a few hundred yards away.

"I seem to have misjudged you Mr Grissom." Andrew said to the dead night air.

****

Sue waded through the waves as her daughter walked on the sand. She caught a glimpse of her husband talking to Grissom in the dying sun and called out to Sara as she watched Grissom come down from the deck and onto the sand.

"I'll put some tea on. I'm sure you're hungry after missing lunch." Sue smiled at her daughter and turned to make her way back up to the B&B, passing Grissom with an encouraging smile.

Standing in silence for a long time, only the sound of the waves breaking against the beach was heard.

Grissom stood beside Sara as she looked out at the now darkened sky. "Can I ask you something?" His voice was nearly swallowed by the wave hitting their feet.

Sara turned to see that his bare feet mingled with the wet sand and the sea water. She smiled a little at the sight.

Taking her silence as a response, he asked his question. "Are you still in love with me?" He swallowed the lump in his throat as he waited for an answer. His heart was beating wildly in his chest as he felt the weight of sadness hanging over him.

Sara looked down at her feet, biting her bottom lip. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep her answer buried inside her. Did she really have to say it?

He had offered her love in return, but could he really do it?

"Do you even know what love is Grissom?" She asked through soft tears, her eyes straying back to the ocean.

His reply was full of honesty and firmness that she knew he was telling the truth.

"Love?" He gasped. "I can only tell you what love is with you. What I feel, what I think, what I want…" He looked up at the sky desperately. "I know that telling you I love you isn't half of what I feel for you." His eyes settled on her as she turned to him.

"What do you feel for me?" She choked on a whisper.

He stepped closer, taking his hands to touch her face. "Love is a weak word, but it's love all the same. There's so much more inside me and it's chewing me up inside because I've tried to tell you, but I couldn't."

"And now?" She looked into his eyes.

"With my heart and soul." He forced. "I've loved you for so long." His words were strong. "There aren't enough words to describe it, but I can try…" He closed his eyes for a moment and smiled. "You make me feel. You make me believe in a future I thought I was too old for." He paused and wrapped his arms around her, looking into her eyes.

"Adoration. Want. Need. Joy. Happiness. Passion…" He wiped her tears away with soft fingers. "Desperation to do something!"

Sara laughed a little. She shifted closer into his arms and closed her eyes against his cheek. "Then do something." She whispered into his ear.

He pulled back and smiled. "I plan to." He whispered back, leaning down to kiss her with a passion he hadn't known he had, except when he was around Sara.

****

"What about Anna?" Sara looked at him as they walked hand in hand down the beach.

Grissom shrugged, trying to catch her face in the moonlight. "She knows about us. She needed someone and so did I, but I was too afraid to take what I had. We used each other, I guess." He sighed and squeezed her hand.

"Will she be in Vegas if I go back?"

"No. She left the other day." He offered her a smile. "I should thank her though."

"Why?" Sara asked with hesitation.

"She's the one that found you. I was in a panic and couldn't find your address or anything." He looked back at her when he realised she wasn't walking with him anymore.

"She found me? You panicked?" Sara shook her head out of the fog that had settled. She turned confused eyes to him.

Grissom went to her. "I lost you. I was going to find you, but… I had to work." It sounded so stupid. "I'm sorry Sara."

"That's ok. It's just a shock that your ex-wife is the one that found me." She sighed tiredly. "I think we should head back. I need some sleep before my flight."

Grissom's eyes grew wide. "You're not coming back with me?"

****

TBC


	11. Epilogue

****

[I wasn't sure how to end this, so I got a little carried away. Enjoy it anyway.]

Epilogue

Looking up from buttoning her blouse, Sara checked herself in the mirror once more before reaching for her suit jacket that was hung on the back of the chair.

After giving herself one last check in the long wall mirror, she bent to retrieve her heeled shoes from the floor along with her purse.

It has been almost 13 months since she had returned to Vegas. Though she went to night school to get her PhD in Physics and Forensics Combined, she had managed to work at the crime lab without wasting precious study time on overtime each month.

She had finally found her balance in life.

Going back to Vegas was an easy choice once she realised that her life was there all along. She was happier than she had ever been and she was on better speaking terms with her father than she had in a long time.

She still remembered all the pain and suffering she went through, but now the pain was gone and it's replacement was so much warmer than the coldness that was once inside her heart.

She was happy.

Focusing back on the present, Sara walked through to the living room to get her heavy weather coat as it was still raining outside. Once she had everything, she slipped on her shoes at the door and locked up on her way out.

****

****

The Beach 13 months Earlier!

Grissom jogged up the beach to reach her side. He had stood motionless when she burst out laughing. "That wasn't funny Sara. That was cruel." He said breathlessly.

She giggled and playfully elbowed him in the ribs and caught his arm as he pulled away from her in a mock-pout. "I'm telling the truth. We need sleep and we've got a plane to catch."

He moved his arm and raised it over her head to come down and rest on her shoulders, pulling her into his side comfortably. "I should ring the airport first. I haven't got a ticket."

Sara looked up at him, her face half hidden in his chest. "No ticket?"

He nodded. "I left in a hurry. No time to book for a return flight. Must have slipped my mind between panicking, grovelling and making an ass of myself."

Giggling again, Sara sighed against him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "I like your ass." She said suddenly and emphasised her words by grabbing one cheek in her hand and squeezing, eliciting a yelp from Grissom.

"Hey hey, enough of that you two." Stewart chided, wagging his index finger at them.

"Shut up Stewy." Sara smiled as she slipped her palm into the back of Grissom's pants pocket.

"It's Stewart, and mom's made dinner." He turned and headed up the steps to the deck.

****

****

Back to Present Day!

Adjusting his tie as he waited in the large hall, Grissom looked around, noting the small groups of people. He unbuttoned his suit jacket and tucked one hand into his pocket as he leaned against a nearest wall.

Nick and Warrick stood not far away in similar suits, talking to Catherine and Brass. They too were dressed in proper attire for a big scale court.

The only person that was missing was Sara and she was on the stand first. Grissom was a bit nervous about this as the prosecutor is the one and only 'Soundbite Wescott'. She had already torn his team apart with personal questioning and professional slapping.

After he had read the transcript for their last case with her as the prosecutor, he had noted with distain how much she attacks, only remember the mean trick his mentor had played on him in front of a whole courtroom. Using his genetic worries against him in public.

"This is still a big case Nicky."

Grissom heard Catherine's voice echo in the large hall. He pushed off the wall and approached them. "What's wrong?" He asked, shifting his tie into a momentarily comfortable position.

Catherine smiled. "Nicky here wants to bail in order to keep a lunch date."

Nick turned and gave his supervisor a sheepish grin. "I wasn't really even on the case."

"Even so, you are up after Warrick, so sit tight. If there was a way out if this charade, I'd be the first to find it, believe me." Grissom's eyes focused behind them as they started chatting again.

"Sorry I'm late guys. Once I left the house, the damn traffic hit me all at one." Sara smiled at them and moved around to stand beside Grissom.

Warrick checked his jacket and pants in one look down motion before turning to look towards the courtroom doors. "Man, I wish they'd get this over with. Wescott's gonna fry me."

Grissom sighed. "Guys, listen." He waited for their attentions before continuing. "She's human, like all of us. Last year, she had something to use, now she doesn't. She'll be gripping straws."

Catherine nodded. "Yeah, think about it." She looked at Warrick and gave him a warm smile. "You don't gamble anymore and you haven't in almost two years. There's nothing there to grab at."

Warrick sighed as their words sunk in. "Thanks guys, that means a lot."

Nick chuckled. "No problem man." He patted his friend on the shoulder reassuringly. "That's Warrick sorted, but what about me?"

Grissom shrugged. "You weren't primary and you didn't work alone on this one. You catalogued evidence to the book, nothing went wrong. You checked your work, so nothing to worry about." He looked at Catherine. "Same goes to you. She can't attack your personal life, she dug that up last time. She's got nothing on you."

"Eddie-" Catherine started.

Grissom shook his head firmly. "Uh-uh. Not going to be a factor. If it is, you don't answer. That has no room in a court. It's old news."

"Good, I'd hate to get asked about anything else, cuz there's nothing I can remember." She chuckled nervously.

Sara sighed. "Yeah, well. I'll most likely get a kickin' the second I sit down."

Grissom turned his head and looked at her. "I doubt that."

She shrugged. "She attacked my personal life the whole time I was on the stand. She practically tore my credibility apart."

"Your personal life is no longer the same. Plus, she's got nothing to use against you. No ex's or potential's to bring up, right?" He smirked. "Unless you have something to tell me about?"

Warrick, Nick and Catherine chuckled. Brass shook his head and smiled at them.

Sara raised an eyebrow in thought. "Now you mention it…" She focused on his eyes and held them for a moment. "Nope. Only this thorn in my side."

A few playful calls were heard from the others as they continued to watch or listen to the couple banter away.

Grissom sighed and shook his head playfully. "Is that all. I thought it was something serious." He reached up and adjusted his tie again.

Sara smiled warmly and tapped his hands away. "Why did you put this one on if it's irritating you so much?" She pulled the tie free from his neck and opened her purse. "The things I do to keep you happy." She mock-grumbled, fishing out another tie from the purse depths.

"I thought that was Grissom's line." Brass grinned, laughing at the blush creeping up his friends neck.

Sara easily slid the new tie around his neck, catching his eyes now and then as she tied the fabric.

"Why's Grissom have to change his tie anyhow?" Nick whined as he messed with his own. "I hate ties."

"You're not allergic to politics, or certain fabric cleaners Nicky." Sara chided him, casting a smile at the others before turning back to Grissom. "Anyway, this is the only one he'll leave alone."

"Silk." Catherine said with a wistful smile. "Always works."

"Sara Sidle?" The foreman called.

Grissom reached for Sara's hand and turned her back to him. He brushed her hair back and smiled. "Don't worry about anything. Answer her questions and you'll be out of there in no time."

She nodded and sucked in a deep breath and let it out to relax. "God, I hate politics." She breathed out, leaning forward to give him a quick kiss before turning away and following the foreman into the courtroom.

"Wow, Grissom, man, that's what we call a public display of affection." Warrick whistled quietly, chuckling with the others at his supervisors blush.

"How long will it take to shut you lot up?" He stared at them, waiting for an answer.

Catherine and Brass smirked, leaning into each other. "More like, how much."

"I heard that." Grissom grumbled, turning to look at the large door Sara had gone through. He smiled slightly and looked over his shoulder at them. "I asked Sara to marry me."

The others looked at him bug-eyed. He had been doing more and more un-Grissom like things since he got back from San Francisco, including talking.

"What did she say?" Nick asked quickly.

Catherine jabbed him in the stomach. "What do you think she said dumbo? She said yes." Turning her head quickly, she looked at Grissom with wide eyes. "She did say yes, right?"

Grissom's smirk widened. "Yes."

Brass was the first to move. "Well, congratulations Gil." He shook Grissom's hand whilst the other's congratulated and slapped their boss on the back.

"Thank you. I'm glad you're ok with this. It means a lot to both of us." Grissom flattened down his tie and tucked it into his jacket as it buttoned it.

"Were you supposed to wait?" Warrick asked. "Cuz, my grandmothers sister once said to me that it's bad luck to spread that kind of news without the bride to be."

Grissom chuckled. "Sara was the one nervous about telling everyone. I said I'd do it."

Catherine grinned. "She was pulling your leg."

Grissom's chuckled died. "That's what I thought until I confronted her with it."

Brass and Catherine shrugged. "She was still pulling your leg."

Warrick smiled and Nick shook his head. "She was so pulling you leg."

Grissom turned narrow eyes to the courtroom door. "That little-"

"Gil!" Catherine burst out laughing. "I'm sure it was all for your own good."

He shrugged. "I guess it's funny."

"A man with such a dry sense of humour." Brass chuckled.

Nick nodded. "Matches Sara to a tee."

Grissom looked at them one at a time and realised that this was the first real conversation they had all had in a long time. Since he came back to Vegas with Sara, they were all getting on more easily. He had even starting coming out of his office to eat and talk with them more often. Mostly when his paperwork was unbearable and his reluctance to face it always found him at one or the other's sides for something or nothing.

Ten minutes past before any further group conversation happened as Brass and Grissom went to get coffee, knowing it was going to be a long day.

Sara finally came out, looking like she just went ten rounds with Mike Tyson. "That was a breeze." She breathed sarcastically.

Nick walked over to the water machine and got a bottle of water for her. "What did she say?" He asked as he handed over the bottle.

Sara unscrewed the cap. "She started off talking about the case, then hit a doozy of a questioning on me like 20-20 questions on Saturday night." Taking a few gulps of water, she handed it back to Nick. "Thanks." She wiped her mouth slightly and sighed. "Then she made me talk out the entire scene, in detail."

Warrick raised his eyebrows. "That it?"

Sara nodded. "I don't think there was anything personal in it, just case reviewing and suspect information."

Nick's face broke out into a grin. "I can do that." He moved around energetically, feeling he had nothing more to worry about.

Sara smiled and looked behind them to see Grissom and Brass holding cups.

****

Sitting down with her cup of fresh coffee and her bowl of fresh fruit, Sara leaned back into Grissom's chest as he drank his coffee and talked openly about the case they had just closed.

Catherine and Warrick sat on the other side of the table with Nick sitting in the isle. Brass had taken off sometime after he came out of court. Now the remaining few talked and ate.

"Dr Grissom." Came an all too familiar voice from behind Nick, who looked up with a piece of toast hanging out his mouth in surprise.

"Miss Wescott." Grissom greeted, setting his coffee down.

Wescott looked around the table. "I just wanted to say congratulations on winning. It was a fair court this afternoon." She genuinely smiled and held out her hand to the head of the group.

Grissom nodded and reached around Sara to shake the offered hand. "I'm glad you think so. It was open and shut from the beginning, but you know politics…" He shrugged, shaking Sara slightly.

Catherine laughed lightly. "Uh, Sara, hon, you have pineapple on your blouse." She wiped her mouth with her napkin and looked at Grissom with a smile.

Sara sat up and sighed. "Damn." She looked up and smile apologetically. "You'll have to excuse me while I clean up." She stood, placing her hand on Grissom's thigh to push herself up.

"I hope that we can continue this good relationship we have built up over the past few years." Wescott said confidently as she stepped back for Sara to pass by.

Grissom inclined his head. "Let's hope so."

"Good." Wescott nodded, moving back a bit when Sara came back and scooted back into her seat.

Grissom reached out and plucked an apricot segment from Sara's bowl as she sat back down. "How did your client take the news?" He asked casually.

Sara settled down and noticed her fruit breakfast was beginning to vanish piece by piece. She picked up her coffee and took a sip as Grissom and Wescott conversed. After a few minutes, she spotted his hand reach into the bowl.

Wescott smiled and nodded. "Good to know you are all still here. You know things in court are mainly for show. I can guarantee that it's not personal, much." She chuckled light-heartedly. She watched the display before her before continuing. "And I'm glad to see that Miss Sidle is still here. I heard you were transferring."

The silence around the table was almost deafening. Sara looked at Wescott's blank face with raised eyebrows. "That's news to me and that's Doctor Sidle."

"Yes. I remember. Doctor." Wescott said coolly.

Grissom cleared his throat to get Sara's attention. "Sara, let's get going. We've got appointments to keep before shift."

Sara nodded and turned to the others. "Wedding plans. I take it he's told you."

Catherine and Warrick snickered.

Nick grinned. "Watch your back. He figured it out."

Grissom chuckled good naturedly. "Don't worry, she'll pay." He stood with Sara and grabbed their coats as he addressed Wescott. "It was nice speaking with you Miss Wescott, but please excuse us, we're getting married in a few weeks and need to start thinking about who, where and when." He shrugged on his jacket and assisted Sara with hers, pulling her hair out from under the collar.

Wescott started walking back to her table. "Congratulations." She turned away and moved to sit down with her assistant. She could remember a year or so back when they were all on stand in front of a large room, answering questions she was firing at them.

Some part of her knew the outcome, a good side of her was glad it was all working out for all of them, but the court, ugly side of her, was displeased by it all. Making appearances were not her thing and after that last case, she needed them to know that anything in court, stays in court. So far she was pleased with the outcome and hoped it would stay that way. She had enemies of the real kind, she didn't need professionals on her ass too.

****

Stewart wiped his floured hands on his blue and white striped apron before picking up the envelope that sat on his meat work station in the kitchen.

"Stewart, two more specials." Sue said as she walked into the kitchen with her husband following behind with a tray of dirty dishes. "What do you have there?" She asked.

Andrew started rinsing the plates off and washing them in the hot soapy water in the half filled sink. "I bet it's a letter from Sara. She mentioned something about mail the other night."

Stewart finished wiping his hands enough to handle the crisp envelope and pulled open the flap. For a moment he just stared at the card inside before pulling it out and holding it up to read.

Sue covered her mouth in a delightful gasp with a broadening smile. "He did it!" She advanced on her oldest son and snatched the card from his fingers to wave it in the air and read aloud.

__

'You are invited to the,

Special White Wedding of

Gil Grissom & Sara Sidle

on the 27th August 2004'

Andrew smirked and nodded proudly. "Good man Gil, good man."

Sue shrieked. "I've got a Son-in-Law!"

****

THE END


End file.
